Ron Bilbao in a moment of reflection.

The Student Body President election results in favor of Jasmin Jones surprised students this morning, many of whom expected a landslide win in favor of Thomas Edwards. In fact, few seemed more surprised at the victory than DQ-ed candidate Ron Bilbao in the Daily Tar Heel’s front page article today:

“In multiple e-mails sent out to all students who voted in last week’s election, the [losing] quartet encouraged their original followers to vote for Jones the second time around. ‘Honest to God, I can’t believe that actually worked. I can’t believe we actually pulled it off,’ Bilbao said.

‘She took down the machine. She took down the Terminator. It’s the David versus Goliath.’”

Machine? Terminator? David versus Goliath? We thought Bilbao might be on crack, but believe it is more likely that he is just an asshole with a severe and debilitating condition which prevents him from creating effective metaphors. (In shorthand, some refer to this as “stupidity.”) We’re pretty sure–or at least, we hope–nobody but Bilbao viewed the race this way, and felt lesser for having seen his anti-Carolina Way thoughts in print.

For those who ponder the truth in Bilbao’s statements, here’s a picture of Edwards volunteering in Ghana this past summer:

God, what a great person

In conclusion, we feel it was shoddy journalism on behalf of the DTH to continue featuring quotes from Bilbao instead of the other losing candidates during the past few days, considering he was disqualified last Tuesday. Now that the election is over, we hope we can stop reading about this tool.

To lighten the mood, here’s our Link of the Day: The longer you look at it, the funnier it gets.